GotKegs.com

I’ve got a dog named ‘Syndrome’. So every time he attacks the postman I shout at it, “Down Syndrome!”

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and therefore decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.”

This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her awhile then says, “You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?” She says, “I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the [...]

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

These are all things you should never say while visiting the following countries, you have been warned. IRELAND “Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? POLAND “Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?”

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of “those” arguments.

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of [...]