10 TRUTHS BLACK AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON’T ADMIT:
1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. N’SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.
“Tomorrow,” his wife angrily told him, “there had better be something in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!”
Two gay guys are walking through a zoo. They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can’t bear it any longer and reaches into the cage to touch it.
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by…
BUENOS DIAS!!
JOU HAVE YUST RECEIB A MEHICAN BIRUS!!!!! SEENCE WE NOT SO TECHNOLOGICALLY ADBANCED IN MEHICO, DIS IS A MANUEL BIRUS. PLEASE DELETE ALL DE FILES ON JOUR HARD DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW. TAN JOU POR YELPING ME.
Continue reading ‘Mexican Computer Virus’
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?”
The father thought for moment, then answered “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.”
Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer, watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor woman from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me: ” You should be hung!”
I took a drink from my can of Busch Light, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses, stared directly into this nosey-ass neighbor’s eyes and calmly replied….
A couple attending an art exhibition at the Kentucky Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black weinees, but the one in the middle had a pink weinee.
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.”
One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action. “Hey Batman! Who’s good in the sack?” “Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in comicland. Why don’t you try her?” replied Batman.
“I’d love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don’t really want to take advantage of her.” “Damn shame,” said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off. Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down.
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