A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, “Dddooo youuuu hhave dddddiilllldosss?”
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, “Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.”
The old woman then asks,”Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss thiickk…aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ?”
The clerk responds, “Yes we do.”
“Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe sunoooffabbitch offfff?”
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, “who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!” The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Continue reading ‘The Italian Job’
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”
He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?”
“Oh no,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either!”
Continue reading ‘A Good Question’
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