Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the [...]
A married man was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday, she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea, why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can [...]
A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, “Crazy as this sounds, maybe a [...]
Now before you just get all lazy do a little bit of thinking …. OK Here we go…. 10 Little Piggies Two Calves One Ass An Unknown number of Hares And of course one Kitty
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or [...]
It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, we offer [...]
A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “have you been in the service?” “Yes,” he says. “I was in Vietnam for three years,” The interviewer says, “That will give you extra points toward employment” and then asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The guy [...]
South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the community college and sign up for some classes.” Bob thinks it’s a good idea, and the two [...]