A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”
The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said “Have you ever had a kiss?”
The man said “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third really beautiful woman came up to him and said “Have you ever been fucked?”
The fellow said “No.”
She said “You will be when the tide comes in.
A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, “Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.”
The husband was skeptical, but they assured that they’d close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined; no pulse, no heart rate.
The nurses ran into the room. “What happened?” they cried. The husband said, “I guess she choked.”
A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “have you been in the service?” “Yes,” he says. “I was in Vietnam for three years,” The interviewer says, “That will give you extra points toward employment” and then asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The guy says, “Yes 100%…a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off.” The interviewer tells the guy, “O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00A.M.”
The guy is puzzled and says, “If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?” “This is a government job” the interviewer says. “For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls…no point in you coming in for that”
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
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