The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’
‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was the girl you were with?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation’

Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?’
‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’
‘I’ll never tell.’

‘ Was it Nina Capelli?’
‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’
‘My lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?’
‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that.
But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.’

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’
‘Four months vacation and five good leads.’

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. N’SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON’T ADMIT:

1. Hickey’s are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country’s flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. “Jump out and run” is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mammi and Pappi can’t possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON’T ADMIT:

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn’t know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it’s a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

JOU HAVE YUST RECEIB A MEHICAN BIRUS!!!!! SEENCE WE NOT SO TECHNOLOGICALLY ADBANCED IN MEHICO, DIS IS A MANUEL BIRUS. PLEASE DELETE ALL DE FILES ON JOUR HARD DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW. TAN JOU POR YELPING ME.

JULIO MANUEL JOSE RODRIGUEZ GARCIA DE LA CRUZ INFANTE SALGADO FERNANDEZ
DE MEXICAN HACKER

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
“Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.”

“You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. In this country we don’t speak aloud in public places about our sex lives”

“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sex? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell “Mississippi’.”

I’VE GOT $5.00 THAT SAYS YOU’RE GONNA READ THIS AGAIN!

IRELAND
“Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?

POLAND
“Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?”

GERMANY
“Is this bratwurst kosher?”

CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great.”

SWEDEN
“Do you have any normal meatballs?”

INDIA
“Hey, you don’t live in teepees! Where can I get a good steak around here?”

ETHIOPIA
“Wow, those flies sure love your pregnant son!”

SOUTH AFRICA
“I liked it better the other way.”

MEXICO
“What’s that smell?”

RUSSIA
“Is it always this cold and economically devastated?”

AFGHANISTAN
“Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?”

JAPAN
“What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?”