GotKegs.com

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you [...]

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners. “Go [...]

A mother is driving her 7 year-old daughter to her friend’s house for a play date when the little girl asks “Mommy,” how old are you?” “Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replies sweetly. “It’s not polite.” “OK”, the little girl says, “How much do you weigh?” “Now [...]

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother (who couldn’t think of an [...]

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?” The father thought for moment, then answered “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.”

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office [...]

A white-haired old geezer went into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young woman and told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think [...]

There’s a new book out called the “Useful Golf Book”. It contains some really good articles such as: * How to line up your fourth putt * How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee. * How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in the [...]

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. [...]

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules so the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday [...]