The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’
‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was the girl you were with?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation’

Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?’
‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’
‘I’ll never tell.’

‘ Was it Nina Capelli?’
‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’
‘My lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?’
‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that.
But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.’

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’
‘Four months vacation and five good leads.’

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. “Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?”

When Mary Margaret didn’t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Mary Margaret. The Nun said, “Very good” and continued teaching her class.

A little lat er the Nun asked Mary Margaret, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”

But Mary didn’t stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

“Jesus Christ!!!” shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,”Very good,” and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question…”What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, “If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”

The nun fainted………..

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman’s additional children were costing the church!

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, “Children are a gift from God,” he said. Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, “Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.”

Bill hesitates…but begins to change his mind when the agent tells him the fans would love it! Bill shrugs his shoulders and says, “Ho-Kay! If that is what the people want. C’mere Hilly baby…”

With that, Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right over the wall onto the field. She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming, “Bill you “!^$#@&!” The crowd goes absolutely wild. Fans are jumping up and down, cheering, hooting and hollering, and high-fiving. Bill is bowing, smiling and waving to the crowd. He leans over to the agent and says, “How about that! I would have never believed how much everyone would enjoy that!”

Noticing the agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong. The agent replies, “Sir, I said they want you to throw out the first Pitch!”

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?” The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.” This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them, with an angry glare. Dopey turns back and says, “Mr. Pope are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?” “I’m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.” The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting, “Dopey screwed a penguin! Dopey screwed a penguin!”

While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000,

or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00.”

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home,

when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only $150.00?”

The man replied, “A man died here 2,000 years ago, was buried here,

and three days later he rose from the dead.

I just can’t take that chance.”