GotKegs.com

1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.4. A dog’s parents never visit.5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your [...]

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gave each woman a present of $5,000 and watched to see what they would do with the money. The first did a total make over. She went to a fancy beauty salon to get her hair done, new make [...]

John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife’s side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into he room and asked him to [...]

I’ll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago: I got a vasectomy. I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. [...]

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and [...]

Smart man + smart woman = romanceSmart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy SHOPPING MATH

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year … and $180,000.00 … they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. “Tomorrow,” his wife angrily told him, “there had better be something in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!”

Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer, watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor woman from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me: ” You should be hung!” I took a drink from my can of Busch Light, wiped the cold foam from [...]