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It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”

Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.

Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.

“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang…..

“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American History. Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’ ?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: ‘ Patrick Henry, 1775 ‘ he said.

‘Very good!’ Who said ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?’

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. ‘ Abraham Lincoln, 1863 ‘ said Chandrasekhar. The teacher snapped at the class, ‘ Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do. ‘

She heard a loud whisper: ‘ F— the Indians, ‘

‘ Who said that? ‘ she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. ‘ General Custer, 1862. ‘

At that point, a student in the back said, ‘ I’m gonna puke. ‘

The teacher glares around and asks ‘ All right! Now, who said that? ‘

Again, Chandrasekhar says, ‘ George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991. ‘

Now furious, another student yells, ‘ Oh yeah? Suck this! ‘

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , ‘ Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997! ‘

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said ‘ You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you. ‘

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ‘ Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him 2004. ‘

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, ‘ Oh shit, we ‘ re screwed!’

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, ‘ I think it was the American people, November 4th, 2008″.

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s Cool Whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5. That’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench, munching  on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, ‘Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.’

Little RALPHY replied, ‘My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.’

The man asked, ‘Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?’

Little RALPHY answered, ‘No, he minded his own f……. business.

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word ‘beautiful’ in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ‘My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.’

‘Very good, Suzie,’ replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. ‘My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.’

She said, ‘Excellent, Michael!’ Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY. ‘Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just f….. beautiful!”

Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!’

The teacher replied, ‘Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.’

Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, ‘You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!’

Little Ralphy goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’

RALPHY says, ‘Mas-tur-bate.’

Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful.’

Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.’

Little Ralphy returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

‘Why?’ asks the father?

‘The teacher asked, ‘How much is 2×3,” I said ’6′, replies RALPHY.

‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.

‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?”

‘What’s the f…… difference?’ asks the father.

‘That’s what I said!’

A teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?’

She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’

The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’

Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:  One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?’

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’

To which Little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.’